Let the Wheel Turn

From 2004:

I am moving into a new home today. I meditate, sinking into my pool of Spirit. The image of the new house is before me.

“Why are you here?” asks the Eternal.

“To write,” I reply.

“Then do it,” she says.

“Why are you here?” asks the Eternal again.

“To be in peace,” I reply.

“Then be in peace,” she responds.

“Why are you here?” she asks a final time.

“To live,” I reply.

“Then LIVE.” states the Eternal.

I ask, “I have received many visions. Moving into this home means that some of them can never occur. Which are the true visions, and how do I tell the difference?”

“There is not a single path, there are many possible paths, depending upon your choices,” responds the Eternal. “They are all true, because they are all paths that I can use to work incredible good. Many paths depend not just upon your choices, but upon the choices of others, some whom you know and some whom you do not. There is no need to point a finger at yourself or at others. There is no need to place blame if the path changes. It will all be good. It’s OK to let the wheel turn.”

Living Great

It is reported that James Michener, walking upon the deck of an aircraft carrier during WWII thought, “When this war is over, I’m not going to be the same guy. I’m going to live as if I were a great man.”

These words resound inside me. My grief has receded (most of the time) - my travail nears its end. I am not the same person that I was. I occasionally try to climb back into the old skin, but it doesn’t fit anymore. It is dry, has lost its elasticity, and it keeps falling off. I look ridiculous trying to hold it around me.

I will live as thought I were a great woman. I will live larger, not smaller, because of my sorrow. I will not look for undersized holes in which to crouch. I will expand. I will unfold my entire being, and I will take up my full share of this space-time continuum – and then some. I will live as though I were a great woman.