I just finished Lamb. It gave me food for thought, because I've recently made life decisions that involve selling most of what I own (including my house) and getting ready to hit the open road on what seems a madcap adventure to follow the Christ. Here are ruminations about some of the quotations that struck me:"You won't believe the wonderful things I've learned since I left here, Joy. About being the agent of change (change is at the root of belief, you know)..." (Lamb 305)
Change brings about belief – it is fundamental to belief. Stasis does not bring me faith – I must change, my circumstances must change, everything must change. The radical lifestyle transformation that I am beginning is ONLY the beginning.
"By following Joshua, we had already divorced ourselves of the expectation of normal existence. Marriage, home, family; they were not part of the life we had chosen, Joshua made that clear to all of his disciples..." (Lamb 364)
To follow Jesus as an apostle, I have to really understand that I am giving up a normal existence. I give up hopes of home, family, marriage and all other trappings of a typical life. I should not set out this door still yearning for those things. I need to understand that I am GIVING UP any right to even hope for them. I will not offer to God that which costs me nothing. I must understand this as I commit myself to a pilgrim life.
"What set them apart from the multitudes who would follow Joshua was that they had stepped off the path of their own lives to spread the Word." (Lamb 364)
The problem/joy/reality is, God offers me glimpses down different paths. Not all paths lead to all visions. I realized this long ago. I have the gift of glimpses, not the gift of seeing the absolute future. I see what may come to pass, I do not prophesy what WILL come to pass. I think it is because we have free will, and therefore the future is not set in stone. I sometimes see what will happen IF I make certain choices. Some of those (quite lovely) glimpses are unlikely to come to fruition if I walk the traveler's path.
"You all want to cast off what you own, leave your families & risk persecution & death to spread the good news?" Joshua asked.
"Yes!" they all shouted. (Lamb 377)
Am I really, REALLY willing to do this? Am I willing to be misunderstood, ridiculed and thought unbalanced in order to follow God in this way?
"Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination. They don't need to understand it, they only need to believe, and they do. They imagine the kingdom as they need it to be, they don't need to grasp it, it's there already, they can let it be." (Lamb 394)
Do I have the imagination for this depth of faith? Intelligence will get me only a short distance down this path, understanding little further. I must hold my imagination. Am I willing to do this?
I am the ultimate Fool, because I have already answered yes, even Knowing that I do not understand what I am saying.
